The Ghost Apprentice
by KP100
Summary: What happens when Danny finds a mysterious girl named Arie at her door? What could be her secrets?
1. The Girl

_**I got this idea while I was showering today... hehe... my mom's at the doctor so I thought I'd entertain myself with writing a new story. :) Enjoy!**_

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><p>Water, dark with little light, splashed onto the girl's tennis shoes as she walked through the empty alley ways, looking into garbage cans and various crates that may contain food. She hadn't eaten in two days, and desperately needed food. Bending down, she picked up a hair tie from one crate, the tie was brown, and very thick. She started running her hands through her bronze hair until she was holding it up, and she put her hair up in a loose bun. She'd been looking for food for three hours, and her freckled cheeks were red with exhaustion and the cold. It was mid December, and all she had to wear was a short, ratty grey t-shirt that had music notes all over it, pants that used to be all white, but where now various shades of earth tones because of all the stains she'd gotten on them, and ratty tennis shoes that had holes in the toes.<p>

Sighing, she started walking again, ignoring the aching in her calves, thighs, and hips. She kept her mind off of what had happened in the past year, and focused on finding shelter. Turning a dark corner, she found a box that was big enough for her to be able to lay down inside and stay out of the steady drssle and the cold, the air got colder, and she heard foot falls behind her. Turning around, she saw a man with black pointy hair running at her. Her eyes grew wide, and she immediatly started running down the alley. _'No, not him!' _was all she could think as she ran out into the street, not caring if a car was coming. All she cared about was getting away. Stopping on the other side of the street, she saw a large builiding, and ran up the steps. Banging on the door, she started screaming.

"Please, please let me in!" Daring a glance over her shoulder, she saw the man was almost across the street, a large grin on his maniacal face. Turning back to he door, she raised her voice, and used her diaphragm to project it, the way she learned during the many plays she had participated in. She banged on the door harder, and right as she thought no one was going to save her, the door opened, and knowing she was going to be safe, she gave in to the darkness that had settled itself on the edges of her vision.

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><p>Blinking, the girl opened her green and yellow eyes and the first thing she saw was a teenage boy with jet black hair and sky blue eyes. He looked about her age, maybe a year younger. Hs face was contorted into a look of worry and fear. He had a scrape on his cheek, but that seemed to be the only flaw on his face.<p>

"Are you okay? You feinted when I opened the door." she nodded as she sat up in bed. Looking around the room, she figured it was his since it seemed to be a boy's room.

"Why were you at our door last night? Where you being chased?" nodding again, she focused her gaze on the teen. She couldn't bring herself to stop looking at his eyes for more than ten seconds. They were just so... _beautiful._

"Can you talk?" she smiled at this, and nodded.

"What's your name?"

"Arie. What's yours?" her voice was raw, raspy. As if she had scraped it while screaming last night.

"Danny." he raised an eyebrow at her.

"I've never heard of a name like that. Arie. Is it short for something?"

"No, I was born in late March, so my mom named me Arie since I'm an Aries." He nodded his understanding, and stood.

"Do you want any food or water? You look like you could use it." she could tell he was staring at her ribs, which were visible through her shirt.

"Yeah, please. I haven't eaten in...three days now." she mentally did the math in her head to double check. Yes, three days.

"Wow, that's a long time. I'll be back." he left the room, shutting the door softly. Sitting up, Arie glanced around the room, taking in more detail than her earlier glance. There was a computer, the furniture, and some other small things she couldn't recognize at the moment. A few minutes later, Danny came into his room with three glasses of water and a plate of various fruits, vegetables, crackers and other snacks.

"I know it's not a lot, but I have some more down stairs cooking, and I'm gonna run to the Nasty Burger and get you some more food. Is that okay? Are you allergic to anything?" Nodding, she let him know her one allergy.

"I'm allergic to blue berries." Nodding, Danny stood, and grabbing his wallet, headed back out the door once again. The first thing Arie grabbed off the tray that Danny had left was a glass of water, and downing it on three gulps, drank the second one. She then ate a slice of cheese, some strawberries, and a tomato. The tomato was kind of tart, but she really didn't care since she hadn't eaten in three days. By the time she'd finished off the last glass of water, and practically polished the plate, Danny came back with three bags from the Nasty Burger, and three large cups full of dark liquid. Placing two bags and two cups on the bedside table for her, he kept one cup and one bag for himself. Pulling out a single burger, he unwrapped, and took a bite. Arie dug into one of the bags meant for her, and pulled out a large cup of fries and two burgers. The other bag had the same.

"I got you four different burgers. I didn't know which one you'd want so I just ordered them." she nodded as she unwrapped one, and took a monstrous bite, making Danny chuckle. Ignoring him because she was too hungry, Arie grabbed one of the large cups, and began gulping it down. After she replenished her thirst for the moment, she set the cup aside, half empty, and took a bite of the burger again. By now, the burger was half gone. Swallowing the bite of meat, she took another sip of the cherry coke.

About an hour later, they were up and cleaning Danny's room of various wrappers, cups, plates, utensils and other things used for eating. Arie smiled as she picked up the last of the dirty dishes, her stomach full of good food. She hadn't had food like that in about a year, causing her stomach and taste buds feel like they were dancing in sunshine in a field full of beautiful wild flowers.

"So, I'm guessing you liked the food." Danny grinned at Arie, who grinned back and nodded.

"I haven't had food like that in about a year." Danny blinked at her, his grin fading some.

"Really? Why not?"

"I haven't had a home in a year..." she said cautiously. They were headed into dangerous territory.

"Why not?" Genuine curiosity colored Danny's voice.

"I don't like to talk about it." she told him quickly, wishing they could get off the subject. Danny blinked again, but shrugged. Suddenly, his eyes brightened, and a grin spread across his face once again. Arie looked at him, worriedly.

"You want to meet my best friends?" Sighing in relief, Arie nodded her yes, and stood. Walking out the door, Danny fished his phone from his pocket, and sent Sam and Tucker a quick, brief text.

_Meet me at Nasty Burger in five. Got a surprise._ Snapping it shut, Danny replaced his phone and he and Arie headed out the door to the Nasty Burger.

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><p>Arie and Danny smiled up at Sam and Tucker as they walked in. Sliding in to the booth, Sam and Tucker glanced at Arie, and gave her a welcoming smile.<p>

"Sam, Tucker, this is Arie." Danny

"Hey, I'm Sam." Sam smiled again at Arie, and waved.

"And I'm Tucker." Tucker grinned at Arie.

Danny leaned over towards Arie's ear, causing her to turn her head slightly to look at him. "Just so you know, Tucker tends to hit on every girl he sees." Arie chuckled and nodded. Sam, having not heard what Danny said, guessed it had something to do with Tucker and laughed.

"Well, unless you two are hungry, want to go to the mall?" Sam asked.

"Nah, we already ate. A lot." Arie laughed, remembering all the food that was currently sitting in their stomachs. Sam nodded, and the group stood and headed outside to the mall.

"Danny, does she know, you know. Your secret?" Sam whispered, falling back from Arie and Tucker, who were chatting amitidaly.

"No, I haven't told her. I don't really know her yet, so I'm waiting until I think we're both ready." Sam nodded, and they caught up to Tucker and Arie.

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><p><em><strong>Well...what do you think? And, I recently read a great fic, though a little depressing. It's called Empty Promises. The author, Laora, is new to the Danny Phantom phandom, and is an amazing author. I suggest you read it if you're in the mood for a dark fic. It had me crying. <strong>_

_**Review!**_


	2. The Ghost Girl

_**Happy new year! :) Enjoy!**_

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><p>Sam, Tucker, Danny and Arie all walked up to Danny's door, but before they could go in, Danny's ghost sense went off. Throwing a look at his best friends, Sam and Tuker nodded and grabbed Arie's elbows and towed her inside while Danny ran around the corner into the alley way. Looking around, Danny went ghost and flew up into the air.<p>

"Now, where...?" Danny didn't get a chance to finish his question because a fist suddenly came down on his back. Letting out a startled scream, Danny crashed into the ground. When the dust cleared, Danny could see who the fist belonged to. Vlad Plasmius floated above Danny, a grimace fixed to his face.

"What? No lame joke my dad or a request for my mom's cell number?" Danny joked as he stood easily.

"No boy, I'm not interested in that at the moment. What I'm interested in is where you're hiding the girl." Danny furrowed his brow.

"Girl? What girl?"

"Oh, don't play dumb with me Daniel. I know you know who I'm talking about." Thinking hard, Danny could only make one guess of who he was talking about.

"You mean Arie?"

"Is that her name? She normally goes by Arieas. Ah well, no matter. Tell me Daniel, where is she?" Anger started to over flow Danny's confusion. No way was he giving Arie to a fruitloop, let alone one who desperately needed a cat and therapy.

"I'm not telling you Vlad. I'm not going to give a defenseless girl to a fruitloop who really needs therapy and a cat."

"Fine, then you've forced my hand." Vlad's hands started glowing an electric pink, brighter than Danny had ever seen. Danny's eyes grew wide, he had no idea what this could be. However, before Vlad could fire, a black gloved hand hit him square in the jaw and sent him flying into a building. That slim, black gloved hand was connected to a girl, dressed in black with electric purple eyes. Electric purple ran up the sides of her jumpsuit, and her long white hair was flowing freely in what seemed to be a wind that only revolved around her. Straightening up, she brushed her bangs from her face and smiled a smug smile toward the building.

"Come out fruity, I know you're awake in there." She taunted Vlad, folding her arms across her chest. When nothing stirred, she sighed and floated down to Danny. Her boots making a soft click when they hit the pavement.

"Come on, he's not gonna be recovering for long." grabbing Danny's arm, she took off flying at such a high speed that Danny was surprised they weren't in Wisconsin in five seconds.

"Wait!" Danny yelled over the wind, and pulled them down into an alley on the outskirts of town. Sighing again in exasperation, the girl let go of his arm and turned around.

"What? We need to get away from here before he finds us." Ignoring her, Danny went on with his question.

"Who are you?" A frightened look flashed over her face, but was gone before Danny could be sure.

"I'm Eira."

"Ay-er-ah?" Danny raised his eyebrow in confusion of the hard to pronounce name.

"Eye-air-ah." She corrected him.

"Eye-air-ah?"

"Yeah." Her eyes went wide, and she yanked Danny back behind a dumpster. He let out a yelp, but she quickly covered his mouth with her hand.

"Shh. Vlad's over there." she whispered, jerking her head toward the alley's entrance. Kneeling down even more out of fear that Vlad would see their hair. They couldn't turn invisible and fly past him, he might sense them. Vlad was creepy that way. Suddenly, they heard footsteps coming toward them. Holding their breathe, and shrinking as far back into the dark shadow of the dumpster as possible, they watched the man walk past the dumpster. They tensed their muscles in preparation if it came down to a fight. He was standing right in front of them. His red eyes glanced around him, before finally, easing their nerves some, flying away. They waited for a long time, wanting to make sure it wasn't a trap. Eventually, they stood stiffly, slowly, cautiously.

"Do you think he's gone?" Eira asked. Danny glanced up at the sky with a furrowed brow. It was growing dark, Sam, Tucker and Arie were probably worried.

"I don't know, but we need to be cautious." They flew, very cautiously back to Fenton Works.

"Well, I'll see you around I guess." Eira saluted Danny before taking off past Fenton Works. Danny watched her go, then lowered into the alley and transformed back to human. He ran around front and went inside. Sam and Tucker were sitting on the sofa watching TV, but they seemed a little worried. Arie was nowhere in sight.

"Where's Arie?"

"She went to the bathroom as soon as we came inside. She still hasn't come out." Just then, the bathroom door opened, and Arie came walking out. She arched a well plucked eyebrow at the three teens who were staring at her.

"What?"

"You where in there for an hour."

"Sorry?" She walked over and sat down next to Sam, cleverly avoiding Tucker since they were watching a movie. Better safe than sorry. The trio shared a look, but decided to just drop it. Danny walked into the kitchen and got them a bag of chips and some more snacks that were probably going to cost them later in life. The four friends settled into the sofa, and watched the movie.

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><p><strong><em>Okay, it's a little shorter, but I'll try to update soon with a longer chapter. Sorry guys! Review please? :D<em>**


	3. The Fight

_**I'm uploading pics to DA right now, and they include some of Arie and Eira. I'll post the link at the bottom. Enjoy!**_

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><p><em><em>"Guys, what are we gonna do? She can't keep living here, she'll either figure out my secret, or my parents will se her!" Danny whispered into his cell phone. Sam and Tucker had gone home around eleven last night, and Danny and Arie had gone to bed. Danny had slept on the couch, allowing Arie to sleep in his bed. She'd put up a fight, but, in the end, Danny had won...probably because he'd simply thrown her over his shoulder and marched upstairs. She beat on his back the whole way, and when he set her down on the bed, look flustered and angry. She laid down anyway, and he had grabbed a pillow and a blanket and went downstairs.

"Well, what're you gonna do? You can't throw her out with a crazy fruitloop after her." Sam was always the one with sensibility. She always seemed down-to-earth. That's only one reason that Danny liked her so much.

"I don't know. I guess I have to tell her my secret. But not before-"

"What secret Danny?" Danny jumped, and whirled around to find Arie standing behind him. A look of both anger, and worry was fixed firmly upon her face. Danny reached behind hi, phone still in hand, and started rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand. He looked nervously about the room, as if the answer to her question was placed somewhere on the walls.

"Oh, um, what secret?" he grinned nervously, and tried to maintain eye contact. Arie folded her arms in front of her chest.

"The one you mentioned when you were on the phone." Danny's eyes grew wide.

"Oh, that one." Danny looked down at the ground, trying to think up a valid excuse. None came.

"Look, Arie. I really don't want to talk about it right now. Can you just trust that?" he asked, hopeful. Her eyes narrowed, never a good sign. She grabbed his arm and tugged him over to the couch.

"Danny, what secret?" she furrowed her eyebrows. Danny sighed, he could tell, even this early, that she would not be budging from this anytime soon. He met her eyes, and knew that he could either tell her, and who knows if he could really trust her. Or, he could just not tell.

"Arie, I don't really know you that well. I can't tell until I know for sure I can trust you." Her eyes filled with hurt and anger. She stood up.

"So that's it? You can't trust me, so you won't tell me?" Yeah, definitely anger.

"Well, I've only known you for a day!" Danny exclaimed, trying and failing to diffuse the fight that was rising.

"So? I don't think you'd invite me into your house, meet your friends or anything like that if you didn't feel like you could trust me!"

"I invited you in because you were unconscious on my door step!" Danny exclaimed, anger starting to fill him.

"Well maybe I shouldn't have come here." She stated, in a low regretful voice. Tears came to her eyes, and Danny only got a glance of them before she turned and ran to the front door. She unlocked it, and ran outside. Danny sighed, and ran after her.

"Arie, wait!" when he got outside, he looked around. No sign of her. He blinked and walked down the steps. "Okay, she's a fifteen year old girl. Where could she have gone?" he muttered to himself. He walked to one side of Fenton Works, and looked down the alley way. No sign of disturbance. Turning around, he was about to head across the street when he heard sniffling. Furrowing his brow in worry, he made a right turn from the alley to the other side of Fenton Works and into that alley. He followed he soft noise, until he found the source sitting in the dark shadow of a trashcan.

Kneeling down, he spoke softly and gently. "Arie? I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you." The sniffling stopped, but she didn't turn around. "I trust you, I just don't know how you'll take it. I want to get to know you better before I tell you." She still didn't turn around. Danny reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Arie?" suddenly, the figure fell over. A manikin. Danny scrunched his eyebrows together in confusion.

"Ah, Daniel. I told you, you forced my hand." he heard from behind him. Suddenly, a black gloved hand came in to view. Danny gave a good, loud scream. But before help came, everything went black.

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><p>In another alleyway down the street, Arie kneeled on the soft ground of a cardboard box. She'd ran here and crawled inside, not wanting Danny to see her tears. The opening flaps had been taped together, but she had pried them open with her finger nails, crawled inside, and closed them again. She sat there, sniffling, and silently crying. She didn't want to draw attention to herself by sobbing, so she did her best to choke them back. She laid down, and drew her knees up to her chest in a tight ball. She silently cried herself to sleep.<p>

_-Some time later-_

Arie awoke and feeling better, crawled out of the box. She walked over to a dumpster, and to her surprise, there was a piece of scrap paper and a pen that was just about to run out of ink on top. She picked up the pen and paper, and using the side of the dumpster as something to press on, scrawled out a message to Danny.

_Danny-_

_I'm sorry to be such a burden, and thanks for the care._

_-Arie_

Finishing up her note, Arie folded the note and write his name on it. She then tossed the pen back in the dumpster, and walked to the Fenton's. She opened the mailbox, and slipped the note inside. Blinking away more tears, she headed back to the alley way, and back to what she was now beginning to think of as her box.

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><p><em><strong>Okay, that's all for now! Here's the links (remove spaces): <strong>_

**_Arie: h t t p : / / r e d h e a d n d p r o u d . d e v i a n t a r t . c o m / g a l l e r y / # / d 4 l 7 8 y u_**

**_Eira: h t t p : / / r e d h e a d n d p r o u d . d e v i a n t a r t . c o m / g a l l e r y / # / d 4 l 7 9 m s _**


	4. AN To A Review

_**Okay, so I got a review recently from**__** The Fic Critic. **__**I just wanted to respond to their review in hopes they'd read this. I'm also going to send them a PM. Here's the entire review:**_

Hello and welcome, I am the Fic Critic, because someone had to say it. Welcome  
>those reading to the first, non Marvel based review I have here, to the Danny<br>Phantom story 'The Ghost Apprentice' by 'KP100'. Well, as I've  
>established with my previous reviews, there's some bad writers out there<br>when it comes to Evolution, and there's good writers making parodies of bad  
>stories out there too. But, lets just see how this goes<p>

I got this idea while I was showering today... hehe... my mom's at the doctor  
>so I thought I'd entertain myself with writing a new story. :) Enjoy!<p>

(You got it from a shower? Why does that not fill me with confidence?)

_

Water, dark with little light, splashed onto the girl's tennis shoes as she  
>walked through the empty alley ways, looking into garbage cans and various<br>crates that may contain food. She hadn't eaten in two days, and desperately  
>needed food. Bending down, she picked up a hair tie from one crate, the tie<br>was brown, and very thick. She started running her hands through her bronze  
>hair until she was holding it up, and she put her hair up in a loose bun.<br>She'd been looking for food for three hours, and her freckled cheeks were red  
>with exhaustion and the cold. It was mid December, and all she had to wear was<br>a short, ratty grey t-shirt that had music notes all over it, pants that used  
>to be all white, but where now various shades of earth tones because of all<br>the stains she'd gotten on them, and ratty tennis shoes that had holes in the  
>toes.<p>

(Huh, great visual, I guess. But, mind saying who the girl is? What's her  
>name, what does she look like, why hasn't she eaten for so long? The<br>suspense is... isn't that great.)

Sighing, she started walking again, ignoring the aching in her calves, thighs,  
>and hips. She kept her mind off of what had happened in the past year, and<br>focused on finding shelter. Turning a dark corner, she found a box that was  
>big enough for her to be able to lay down inside and stay out of the steady<br>drssle (The what?) and the cold, the air got colder, and she heard foot falls  
>behind her. Turning around, she saw a man with black pointy hair running at<br>her. Her eyes grew wide, and she immediatly (its 'immediately', not  
>'immediatly') started running down the alley. 'No, not him!' was all she<br>could think as she ran out into the street, not caring if a car was coming.  
>All she cared about was getting away. Stopping on the other side of the<br>street, she saw a large building (and that is spelt 'building'. Where's  
>your spell check? Did you write this in the built word editor or something?<br>But, I won't hold it against you since I make mistakes too), and ran up the  
>steps. Banging on the door, she started screaming.<p>

(Ok, we established that there's some mystery about this girl. But, guess  
>what, that's one of the first telltale signs of a Mary Sue. But, I'm sure<br>this won't be another Mary Sue story, right?)

"Please, please let me in!" Daring a glance over her shoulder, she saw the man  
>was almost across the street, a large grin on his maniacal face. Turning back<br>to he door (he door? You mean 'the door', right? Or do you mean 'he's  
>door' or 'his door'?), she raised her voice, and used her diaphragm to<br>project it, the way she learned during the many plays she had participated in.  
>She banged on the door harder, and right as she thought no one was going to<br>save her, the door opened, and knowing she was going to be safe, she gave in  
>to the darkness that had settled itself on the edges of her vision.<p>

(Did we really need to know how she learnt to project her voice? Why not just  
>say she raised her voice, that was enough.)<p>

_

Blinking, the girl opened her green and yellow eyes and the first thing she  
>saw was a teenage boy with jet black hair and sky blue eyes. He looked about<br>her age, maybe a year younger. Hs face was contorted into a look of worry and  
>fear. He had a scrape on his cheek, but that seemed to be the only flaw on his<br>face.

"Are you okay? You feinted when I opened the door." she nodded as she sat up  
>in bed. Looking around the room, she figured it was his since it seemed to be<br>a boy's room. (Wait, his parents let him place an unconscious girl inside his room? Well, I  
>think that's worth a nomination for 'Terrible parenting of the year'.)<p>

"Why were you at our door last night? Where you being chased?" nodding again,  
>she focused her gaze on the teen. She couldn't bring herself to stop looking<br>at his eyes for more than ten seconds. They were just so... beautiful.

(Well, at least its not her who's being called beautiful constantly.)

"Can you talk?" she smiled at this, and nodded.

(Well, if you can talk, why are you still only nodding? A little confirmation  
>would maybe work there.)<p>

"What's your name?"

"Arie. What's yours?" her voice was raw, raspy. As if she had scraped it while  
>screaming last night.<p>

(Arie? Just Arie? No last name, no normal sounding name, nothing. Well, I  
>guess a weird single name is better than an overly long and complex name.)<p>

"Danny." he raised an eyebrow at her.

"I've never heard of a name like that. Arie. Is it short for something?"

"No, I was born in late March, so my mom named me Arie since I'm an Aries." He  
>nodded his understanding, and stood.<p>

(If that's true than why didn't they just call her Aries? If they're  
>going to give her a weird name, the least they could do is not be lazy and<br>spell the full thing.)

"Do you want any food or water? You look like you could use it." she could  
>tell he was staring at her ribs, which were visible through her shirt.<p>

(Dude, you're staring at her ribs? Great way to make her feel welcome here,  
>make her feel anorexic or something. Jerk.)<p>

"Yeah, please. I haven't eaten in...three days now." she mentally did the math  
>in her head to double check. Yes, three days.<p>

(Wow, you had to add a 1 to a 2? Aren't you a smart girl, wow, I feel stupidin comparison to you and your great mathematical skills. Seriously, if it was  
>a big number I could understand, but it doesn't take effort to count to<br>three.)

"Wow, that's a long time. I'll be back." he left the room, shutting the door  
>softly. Sitting up, Arie glanced around the room, taking in more detail than<br>her earlier glance. There was a computer, the furniture, and some other small  
>things she couldn't recognize at the moment. A few minutes later, Danny came<br>into his room with three glasses of water and a plate of various fruits,  
>vegetables, crackers and other snacks.<p>

(That it? She's been going hungry for three days, and the most you give her  
>is a couple of snacks? What about a sandwich or two, or something a little<br>more balanced)

"I know it's not a lot, but I have some more down stairs cooking, and I'm  
>gonna run to the Nasty Burger and get you some more food. Is that okay? Are<br>you allergic to anything?" Nodding, she let him know her one allergy.

(Oh, that explains it. Ok, I'll let that slide.)

"I'm allergic to blue berries." Nodding, Danny stood, and grabbing his wallet,  
>headed back out the door once again. The first thing Arie grabbed off the tray<br>that Danny had left was a glass of water, and downing it on three gulps, drank  
>the second one. She then ate a slice of cheese, some strawberries, and a<br>tomato. The tomato was kind of tart, but she really didn't care since she  
>hadn't eaten in three days. By the time she'd finished off the last glass of<br>water, and practically polished the plate, Danny came back with three bags  
>from the Nasty Burger, and three large cups full of dark liquid. Placing two<br>bags and two cups on the bedside table for her, he kept one cup and one bag  
>for himself. Pulling out a single burger, he unwrapped, and took a bite. Arie<br>dug into one of the bags meant for her, and pulled out a large cup of fries  
>and two burgers. The other bag had the same.<p>

(Damn it now I'm hungry. Thanks a lot, now I want burgers.)

"I got you four different burgers. I didn't know which one you'd want so I  
>just ordered them." she nodded as she unwrapped one, and took a monstrous<br>bite, making Danny chuckle. Ignoring him because she was too hungry, Arie  
>grabbed one of the large cups, and began gulping it down. After she<br>replenished her thirst for the moment, she set the cup aside, half empty, and  
>took a bite of the burger again. By now, the burger was half gone. Swallowing<br>the bite of meat, she took another sip of the cherry coke. (Wait, why not just get a plain burger? Why get four different burgers when  
>they're likely to be mostly thrown away? And that's a thing, is he trying<br>to make her throw up? Yes, she's starving, but the body has a limit to how  
>much food it can take in. Is he trying to go all Roman and make them throw up<br>the food to then eat more? Because that would be the last thing you'd want  
>to do.)<p>

About an hour later, they were up and cleaning Danny's room of various  
>wrappers, cups, plates, utensils and other things used for eating. Arie smiled<br>as she picked up the last of the dirty dishes, her stomach full of good food.  
>She hadn't had food like that in about a year, causing her stomach and taste<br>buds feel like they were dancing in sunshine in a field full of beautiful wild  
>flowers.<p>

"So, I'm guessing you liked the food." Danny grinned at Arie, who grinned back  
>and nodded.<p>

"I haven't had food like that in about a year." Danny blinked at her, his grin  
>fading some.<p>

"Really? Why not?"

"I haven't had a home in a year..." she said cautiously. They were headed into  
>dangerous territory.<p>

"Why not?" Genuine curiosity colored Danny's voice.

(Ok, more ambiguously vague mysteriousness. Again, the mystery girl thing is  
>so overused that its the easiest thing to spot in the first chapter of a Mary<br>Sue story.)

Cutting off here since I don't have a lot of word space left. The Fic Critic Continued:"I don't like to talk about it." she told him  
>quickly, wishing they could get off the subject. Danny blinked again, but<br>shrugged. Suddenly, his eyes brightened, and a grin spread across his face  
>once again. Arie looked at him, worriedly.<p>

"You want to meet my best friends?" Sighing in relief, Arie nodded her yes,  
>and stood. Walking out the door, Danny fished his phone from his pocket, and<br>sent Sam and Tucker a quick, brief text.

Meet me at Nasty Burger in five. Got a surprise. Snapping it shut, Danny  
>replaced his phone and he and Arie headed out the door to the Nasty Burger.<p>

(Wait, where are his parents in all of this? He's taken in a homeless girl,  
>given her tons of food, and is now going to take her out to show off to his<br>friends that he now has a pet homeless chick? Do they even know he's taken  
>in a homeless girl? Ok, congratulations Maddie and Jack, you've won the<br>award of Worst Parenting of the Year.)

_

Arie and Danny smiled up at Sam and Tucker as they walked in. Sliding in to  
>the booth, Sam and Tucker glanced at Arie, and gave her a welcoming smile.<p>

"Sam, Tucker, this is Arie." Danny

"Hey, I'm Sam." Sam smiled again at Arie, and waved.

"And I'm Tucker." Tucker grinned at Arie.

Danny leaned over towards Arie's ear, causing her to turn her head slightly to  
>look at him. "Just so you know, Tucker tends to hit on every girl he sees."<br>Arie chuckled and nodded. Sam, having not heard what Danny said, guessed it  
>had something to do with Tucker and laughed.<p>

(Well, he might do, but I'm sure he'd have standards. But, has she even  
>cleaned up at all from living homelessly? You've seen how people look when<br>they're homeless, I'm sure that he'd be put off... Wait,that's a  
>thing, has Danny even gave her the chance to clean up before he starts<br>parading her around like a pet puppy?)

"Well, unless you two are hungry, want to go to the mall?" Sam asked. (What about Tucker? What if he's hungry?)

"Nah, we already ate. A lot." Arie laughed, remembering all the food that was  
>currently sitting in their stomachs. Sam nodded, and the group stood and<br>headed outside to the mall.

"Danny, does she know, you know. Your secret?" Sam whispered, falling back  
>from Arie and Tucker, who were chatting amitidaly (Chatting what? Either<br>that's really misspelt or you made it up).

(Wait, you're wondering if he's told the homeless girl he's taken in  
>that he's a half ghost super hero who fights other ghosts to protect a world<br>that, like Spidey and Cyke, hates and fears them, with powers he often uses  
>for somewhat immature reasons? He's only known the girl for barely even a<br>page, do you think every girl he meets he tells his secret to? But, that would  
>make an awesome chat up line. Hey, I'm Danny, and I can walk through walls<br>and fly and shoot energy beams... for some reason. Wanna go for a bite to  
>eat?)<p>

"No, I haven't told her. I don't really know her yet, so I'm waiting until I  
>think we're both ready." Sam nodded, and they caught up to Tucker and Arie.<p>

(Until you're both ready? Uh, do you think you and this girl are going out  
>or something? Again, homeless girl you just met. She could be anyone, up to<br>and including one of your enemies in disguise. Yet, you're acting as if its  
>a girl you've been dating for a few weeks and are just introducing them to<br>your friends.)

_

Well...what do you think? And, I recently read a great fic, though a little  
>depressing. It's called Empty Promises. The author, Laora, is new to the Danny<br>Phantom phandom, and is an amazing author. I suggest you read it if you're in  
>the mood for a dark fic. It had me crying.<p>

Review!

(Oh, and now you're advertising another story? Ok then, enjoy that.)

Ok, my final opinion: 4/10. Its not the worst piece of crap I've read, but  
>its not nearly as good as it could be. As an author of 36 stories I'd assume<br>you'd know some basic tropes in writing, like how the 'mysterious girl  
>with a strange past' story cliché you'd expect from a first time authoris an overdone idea in just about every fandom. Or how to write a realistic<br>reaction or plot.

That's a thing, the plot. Ok, going by the title she's going to somehow  
>gain some connection to ghosts, and he's going to train her how to use them<br>or something. That... doesn't sound all that interesting. One of the biggest  
>aspects of Danny Phantom is the fact that he's just a guy learning his<br>powers and limits. He's still learning to be a hero, like Static and Spidey.  
>Its what makes them a relatable character. By making him the teacher of some<br>kind, you undermine that aspect of him.

And, the entire scene in the Nasty Burger just felt... off. They're acting  
>like he's known her for a while, when he just met her. That's another Mary<br>Sue trait.

As I've only read the first chapter, I can't tell everything about her,  
>but she's not sounding too interesting. Not unlikable, just not someone<br>I'd really care about reading.

So, all in all, the story was pretty lifeless, had a few plot holes, and could  
>use a bit more effort into conveying people to read it. All these things are<br>very easy to fix, and should be easy for you to do, so I'll leave you now to  
>see how you go about it.<p>

Now, goodbye people. I am the Fic Critic, because someone had to say it.

_**Okay, I have a few notes:**_

_**This was too long. I couldn't pick out what was review and what wasn't.**_

_**Before you review a story, you need to read all the chapters. Because in the third chapter, I mention that his parents have no idea.**_

_**I do respect your criticism, but just so you know, you got the whole guess of the plot wrong.**_

_**You need to learn to use softer and better language, because some people are sensitive.**_

_**Yes, I meant 'the door'. I didn't catch that error, and neither did the computer. Thanks for pointing it out, I'll go fix it after I post this.**_

_**I pointed out her ribs so that the readers would know she was extremely skinny, and Danny made all the food for both of them. He didn't know how hungry she might be, but he knew he was hungry.**_

_**So, even though I'm going to send this exact same message in a PM, I wanted to post it so that anyone reading this would know that there is a critic on this site that might hurt their feelings and they aren't alone. So, thanks and keep critiquing. However, before you do, a word of advice: READ ALL THE CHAPTERS UP BEFORE YOU REVIEW.**_


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